Mothers, Sisters and Daughters

Mothers, Sisters and Daughters… Best friends? Or worst rivals?

Mothers, daughters and sisters have a unique relationship.

And their relationship evolves as they change roles and mature.  

They can be best friends or worst enemies. Why so?

As women, we are wired (more or less) the same. My daughter JoJo and I “get” things that our husbands do not. In the weeks following Julia’s death, she and I would go on what we called “cycle-therapy” rides.

We rode our bikes at a leisurely pace and talked. As I shared my struggles with her, my mental and emotional battles, she seemed to know just what I needed to hear. She was able to affirm me as no one else could have at that time. Of course, having that very close relationship with her sister Julia, also made a huge difference as she shared honest insights with me.

I recently had my mother stay with me for 10 days while my 86 year old dad went on a biking trip in Austria. It was a special time of connecting with her where we could both share our thoughts and feelings about issues that mattered.

Through my struggles and commitment to find wholeness and peace after Julia’s death, I have been able to share my “lessons” and truths with her. She has chosen to implement some of these truths in her own life. She has learned that one of the most fulfilling things she can do is reach out to other people and show you care.

My mom was one of few people who wanted to understand what I was going through after Julia’s loss. She would call me and ask questions, or she would read books on loss that I had recommended. Deep inside, it meant a lot to me that she would want to know what I was thinking and feeling.

My mother played an important supportive role as I struggled to make sense of my own thoughts and feelings.

Lastly, I know that Julia and JoJo shared a special sister relationship. They knew what each other would say before it was said. Julia’s loss has left an irreplaceable hole in JoJo’s life, losing a sister, a best friend and an aunt.  

“There have been meetings of only a moment which have left impressions for life, for eternity. No one of us can understand that mysterious thing we call influence…yet out of every one of us continually virtues goes, either to heal, to bless, to leave marks of beauty; or to wound, to hurt, to poison, to stain other lives.”  (J.R. Miller)